期待

还记得有一次，在一场佛学讲座后，我问师父：我这人没啥自信和别人相处，总觉得人只要一接触人，就会有被伤害的机率，可能是言语上，行为举止上，或是情感上的伤害。所以很多时候都选择把自己关在自己的世界里，保护自己。这绝对不是正确的处世之道，那我该怎么办？

师父说，人之所以会被他人的言行举止伤害是因为我们都对别人有期望。我们期望朋友会在我们有困难时伸出援手；我们期望家人在任何时刻都迁就我们；我们期望长辈看重我们；我们期望所有认识我们的人都喜欢我们。说到最后，其实，我们内心里都期望这个社会对我们好。因为有了这些期许，我们对于身边的人都设了一些无形的标准，认为这些人对待我们的方式都必须要或是应该要达到这些标准。一旦没达到，我们对于他们的期盼就会破灭，也就成了我们认为的伤害。

简单而言，这番话的背后是一个你我都懂的佛家道理：感恩，知足。

这世上没有一个人，甚至是父母，有责任要接纳我们并且对我们好。所有人都是独立的个体，没有任何人有义务要对任何一个人好。所以，我们不应该对任何人抱有任何期望或是设下任何别人必须达到的标准。

没有期望，就不会有伤害。这个道理你我是了解的。我们都曾经历过这样的经验：新来到一间学校或是住宅区，只要有几个新同学或是新邻居过来跟我们聊聊，我们便会觉得这些人很亲切热情，因为我们对他们没有‘非对我好’的期望。但再过了几个月，当好朋友不把笔记借给我们或是隔壁邻居结婚没邀请我们时，我们心里就会感到不好受，因为我们对他们有‘非对我好’的期望，而他们的行为举止却没达成这个标准。

所以，每一段感情中最强的杀伤武器其实是对彼此随着时间流去日渐增长的‘期望’。一旦开始对身边的人有了期望，他们对我们的好就会在我们的潜意识里成了理所当然，一旦没达到我们对于他们的期望，我们就会把他们归类成——伤害。

其实不然，因为这世上没有谁必须对你好。

The A's Attraction

Law students are not up to par. With a string of ‘A’s, we are nothing in the eyes of the employers. We are just robots which only know how to study and score in examination but totally failed in communication and socialization.

As one of the production under the robotic generation, I have to admit that that is the truth although there are exceptions. Undeniably, we should reflect on our attitudes in learning, but we should not be the only party to be condemned. By saying this, I am not pointing fingers to the educational system. We all know that the system is defective and the urge for changes has never stopped. However, with all due respect, I submit that the whole society which also consists of you and me, is responsible for this phenomenon.

‘A’ is just an alphabet which is of no different from its 23 counterparts. It is us, the whole society, who give it a whole new interpretation. Students with ‘A’ stamped on the result slips are often labeled as bright students in school, a pride of family, more successful person among friends and also more employable candidates in the eyes of the employers. Our society gives recognition to the ‘A’ earners and even to the extent to idolize them. Hence formed the public perception that, the more ‘A’ you gain, the smarter you are.

The education institutions are often described as a place to prepare the students for the future. More often than not, this is where we equip ourselves with sufficient skills and knowledge to fit the needs of the society. In other words, the institutions are like factories, to produce what is demanded by the society. Therefore, when the society values ‘A’ earners highly, the education institutions can do nothing but to go all out to produce more ‘A’ graduates. When the schools encourage the students to strive for more ‘A’, we will do all we can to win ourselves more ‘A’.

This is when the attraction of ‘A’ overrides everything. Students no longer choosing the courses which they are truly interested in or passionate with, instead they choose the courses which are easier for them to score; they dare not leave their study table for community services as the latter do not reward their efforts by giving them an ‘A’; they are afraid to explore into new areas of study as this might cause them to lose an ‘A’.

Yes, all these are the weaknesses of students that you criticize but also a production of your emphasize in the importance of ‘A’.